Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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