I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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