Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he shaved USA in his pubs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Boobs speak an international language.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
