you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
