I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
