Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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