he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
