Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
we're so committed to being not committed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
