You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
