I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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