I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
