with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
