my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
