he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
