Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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