evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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