I am spending my child support on dildos
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
