I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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