I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
