o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
