I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
