Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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