Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
