i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
