unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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