so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
