I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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