I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
