Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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