she was so not down for the gang bang
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
