We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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