True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
