Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize