Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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