I want to make a zoo with you.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
