is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
