My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
