you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
3 2 1 whiskey
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
