I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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