My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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