I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
