PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
