I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize