chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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