Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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