her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
