I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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