Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
