i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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