He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
