singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So much Jack, so little girl.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
