How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
