Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
