fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
