She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
