he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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