You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
