That's intense
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This baby is an asshole
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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