I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
