I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
